A Rendezvous with Sneakers

I just received a photocopy of a letter I wrote to a friend a couple months ago, by a complete stranger (how they got my address I will never know), but with two words “Thank you” written on the back of the letter. As honest as it is about who I am, I thought, if you are going through a rough period in your life, please, know this: it gets better.

Dearest X,

It’s taken me awhile to figure out what to say, and I’ve finally found the right words to scribble with this mere pen and blank piece of paper staring in front of me. I could not not write to you, knowing you are going through a tough time. I do pray with these simple words you may find comfort, peace, and hope.

I’ve experienced first hand how cruel people can be–how hateful they are, corrupt, evil, and mean, and wondered how it’s possible to be so thoughtless, uncaring, and brutal to another individual. I’d never wish for what has happened in my past to occur to my worst enemy, and it’s hard for me to comprehend the thought processes of mankind sometimes, or why they do what they do. I’ve felt hate, been afraid, endured heartbreak, battled feelings of self doubt, overcome addiction, and have questioned if my life is really worth living. There is nothing scarier than when you question your own life. Nothing.

But, I’ve also felt compassion, witnessed the tears of joy streaming from the eyes of parents after their first child was delivered; experienced the heartfelt, unfailing love of friends and family; held the hand of a complete stranger in need; laughed over mindless matters; and was blessed with the ability to sense the rays of sun on my skin, and hear the beauty of an amazing song. I’ve felt victory. I’ve rocked an orphaned infant who lost his parents from AIDS to sleep, and hugged a wife the moment after her husband passed away. I’ve sat down and cried with parents of a daughter who was my patient, and hearing the mother tell me I was a light in her present darkness, and gave her hope that things would be okay, far surpasses all the negatives I have experienced.

How you decide to live your life is your choice.  You can choose to give up, or you can choose to fight. You asked how I do it. It’s all about your perspective. I’ve decided to focus on the positives. There is pain in my past, but hope in my future, as there is in yours, even though you may not see it now.

You were given the chance to live. Do it. Live life to its fullest, everyday, each day. Yes, tomorrow matters, and no doubt about it: your past is important–what you’ve experienced, endured, the challenges you’ve faced, the happiness you have felt in your heart, are all factors in the person you have become. There’s no other way to put it: life is fucking hard. And I’m not going to lie, times will continue to be tough. I’m convinced whoever says life is easy has not experienced what it is all about. I could not agree more with the lyrics to a certain band: the grass is greener on the other side, but just as hard to mow. I admit it, I need to remind myself of that sometimes.

But today is now. You were blessed with an amazing gift, as corny as it sounds: the gift of life.

My friend, you are cherished by more people than you may ever realize. You have touched the lives of troubled individuals, and are truly, deeply, loved by so, so many. Never forget that.

Don’t give up on today.

Please, don’t ever, ever give up.

My love always.

Mol