Dear 14-Year-Old-Self,
Here are a few things I wish I knew when I was your age. It has taken me thirteen years to figure these things out.
1. You are beautiful, no matter what the voices in your head tell you. Beauty is not defined by the number you see on the scale, or the size of your jeans. Beauty is more than face value; it reflects your heart and soul. It does not matter if you have blemishes on your face, or a scar on your arm.
2. You are not stupid, no matter what the voices in your head tell you. You are intelligent and smart. School, work, and life will teach you things you never imagined you would know. You will never stop gaining more knowledge as you grow older.
3. You are not perfect, and that is okay. If you were perfect, imagine how boring life would be? You would never learn and never grow. You will never be perfect in life, and it is impossible to try to achieve perfection, even when you are considered “a perfectionist.” Strive for excellence, not perfection.
4. You will be bombarded with the word “diet.” Do not take it to mean what many of your peers think it is, which is weight loss. People around you will constantly be “on a diet,” they will constantly be comparing themselves with others. It will be hard not to partake in this way of thinking.
5. Think of food as nourishment for your body; nourish the temple you were given with foods that will give you energy to do the things you want to do. There are no “good” foods and “bad” foods; yes, there may be healthier options which will be better for the cells in your body, but do not focus on that. Eat what you want, when you want. See the person next to you only eating a plate of lettuce for lunch and commenting on the sandwich you are eating and how “fattening” it is? Tell them to go f-ck off. (Okay okay, maybe tell them to f-ck off in your head).
6. Starvation is not an option. Period.
7. You cannot please everyone. Just wait until you become a nurse, and this will hit home even harder. Do not kill yourself trying to please others, either. You are set up for feelings of inadequacy if you try to do so.
8. Remember your mom told you not to go to bed angry? She was right. Don’t harbor anger inside. It’s okay to express anger, as long as you do so in appropriate ways.
9. Don’t fear being alone. It teaches independence.
10.You are never too old to be silly, and don’t allow anyone tell you otherwise. Tell jokes, and have fun. Life is too short not to do the things you enjoy. Smile, even if your teeth are crooked. You do not know what your smile will bring to those around you.
11.Your journey in life will be tough. The road you think you are traveling has detours and pot-holes. But, when you reach that detour, do not fret. There is a different path you can travel on, even if it takes you a bit longer and “is annoying.” It may even be harder than you thought. But you will eventually get back to where you wanted to be.
12. Don’t be scared to ask for help. Remember #2? Smart people are those who realize when they need help, and they aren’t scared of seeking it out.
13. Don’t be afraid to dream big. And don’t let anyone stop you from going for your dreams. Just never forget to stop once and awhile to smell the roses while you are in pursuit of your dreams.
14. Lastly, you are lovable. You will go through heartbreak. But in the end, someone, someday will love you unconditionally. He will love you, even though you are not perfect. He will think you are beautiful, even when you feel you aren’t, and he will forever be telling you that. Listen to him–he is right. And don’t forget to love yourself. You cannot truly love someone else if you don’t first love the person you are.
Always,
27-Year-Old Me
A Rendezvous with Sneakers 