A Rendezvous with Sneakers

100 days– that may seem like a long time for a lot of people. But truth is, it isn’t. If time continues to fly by as it has been recently, it will be here before I know it.

After about a month and a half of my forced R&R (post appendectomy) I have been able to get back into the grove of training, and I have found returning to training mentally and physically exhausting. The weather is finally nice enough to bike outside again (yay!) but on my most recent ride, I found myself feeling extremely discouraged and doubting my abilities to finish the bike leg before cutoff time at Lake Placid.  Knowing all the training I missed adds to the self doubt of completing an event of this caliber. I won’t go into detail about the actual number of training sessions I missed, but I’ve felt that since I missed a bunch of training, I will not be able to finish.

I know I should not be so hard on myself– my body is still on the mend and I just returned to training a couple weeks ago–but the fears of not finishing are very real. I have been told the first outdoor rides of the season tend to be the most difficult– due to the amount of clothing you are wearing and the difference between riding on outdoor terrain vs on a trainer. But those excuses do not nearly change the fears I have about missing the bike cut-off time. I’ve already had dreams about messing something up during the race. For example, in one dream, I felt really confident and strong getting off the bike and heading out to the run, when I realized I still had another lap on the bike to complete! I also had a dream where I had a seizure right during the beginning of the swim portion and kept sinking further from the surface of the water. I know other people have had their own ironman nightmares, but the ones I’ve had seem so real!

Over the past day or so, I have tried not to focus on all the training I have missed, nor how slow I was on my bike ride the other day. I decided from now on, to train like I would race: to put the same mental and physical energy into my training sessions as I would during a race. In the past, during races, I’ve tried to be positive and optimistic; rarely were there times when I told myself, “Man, you suck at racing. You should quit now.” There are plenty of times when I have questioned why I decided to do a certain race (actually, I feel like I think of that during every race haha), but that is not negative. Anyway, I’m going to put more effort into the remaining training that I have; not like I was a slacker before the surgery. But now it is different. I want to tell those voices in my head which told me I would never be able to finish this ironman–that I am too slow or too out of shape–that I can finish it, despite missing 6 weeks of training.

During the next 100 days (and 51 days, for the Quassy Half) I’m going to try and change the negative and fearful thinking into positive. I mean, if other people can finish one, why can’t I?

This week’s training (thus far– I plan on attempting a half marathon on Sunday–gulp)

Monday: 40mile bike ride

Tuesday: AM Brick: 14mile “speed” workout on the new tri bike (first time outside on the bike!)+ 5mile run, then in PM 1500 yard speed swim

Surprisingly I did not crash

Wednesday: rest

Today: my first mountain bike ride since November (a fun and challenging “spin”) and 2500 yard swim

Tomorrow (plan): AM run before work

Saturday: fun day with my man (possible bike ride? hike? we shall see)

Sunday: Half marathon (+3miles for a total of 15miles)

….And, we all know triathletes have huge appetites, so here are  some pictures of food items to which I am currently addicted:

Luna Bars (they are sooo good!)

And greek yogurt (this picture shows half the number of containers I bought during that shopping trip)

I consumed one box in a day (okay, that might have been a bit much)– they are sooo tasty and a great treat if you are craving chocolate….

My favorite post-workout snack: protein smoothie bowls! Delish!

If you are a triathlete, how have you been able to deal with self doubt regarding a long distance triathlon?