All About Attitude

We’re approaching July 2011. Can you believe it? Can you remember what you were doing, or where you were a year ago? Take a minute and think….And then take a minute to breathe. Deep inhale in…and out. I have a feeling most people, myself including, forget to take that time out to stop doing, doing, doing, and just be. Now if you’re at your kitchen table, desk, sitting on the couch, or wherever you might be reading this, how does it feel to just be?

View of the Catskills from Snyderville

At first when I did that, I was sitting outside on the deck, drenched with sweat after my 37mile bike ride ( Milan Hill-> Snyderville->Elizaville->Red Hook route) . Having swam earlier in the afternoon, the bike ride zapped me of the remaining energy I had, but it did not matter. Evening was turning into the night. Fireflies were out. I just sat, and was. I did not think about how crazy my next couple of weeks at work are going to be, nor lament the fact I do not have a normal job thus making tri training more difficult. I didn’t think about recent events, or future events. I simply closed my eyes and listened to the breeze and frogs and nocturnal bugs.

You should do that. It takes two minutes. And it feels fantastic to for those few moments not to be worrying about jobs, families, races, relationships, training…Etc.

I’m looking at life differently now, perhaps it was an eppiphany I had. Who knows. But I realized (again), how you live your life, and the value you bestow upon it, are all about your attitude and perspective on it.

My first attempt at Mooseman was a disaster. Yes, I got 2/3 of it done. But mentally I went into it fearing I would be unable to complete it (and, yes, there was that fear of my first open water swim in a competition setting). I learned a lot from that race–and now I know more and how better to train for my next one.

Yes, my job isn’t ideal for training for these types of events, especially when working overtime or picking up extra shifts in the week. And, i’m jealous of those who have normal 9-5 jobs and weekends off, which can make training easier. By no means am I saying those types of jobs don’t have their stress! My job itself can leave me physically and sometimes emotionally drained. And mustering up energy to go for training rides/runs is difficult. But, it’s possible, as seen by yours truly.

But I’m looking at the next race, Timberman, with a different light. I’m actually looking at life with a different perspective. I’ve come a far way from my fear of swimming in open water (now, open water in large lakes is another thing, and swimming with lots of other people, is also different). As in my last post, yy time in the lake is time for me. Where I don’t need to think about everything else that is going on in my life. I can just concentrate on swimming.

Sun setting behind the Catskills, taken somewhere along route 19

For Mooseman, I did a couple brick workouts, but not alot. Now, I’ll do them more. On my long rides and runs, I never thought to bring fuel with me, or adequately nourish my body with the important nutrients needed for both significant training, and for work. Scratch that thought, I just ate poorly. I lived off of peanut butter and graham crackers at work. Now, I’m trying to look at food as a way of nourishing my body so that I do have the strength to train with my hectic schedule, and not it being simply food. You can eat anything, but it’s amazing the affect it can have on your system. More protein, more whole fruits and veggies, gluten-free foods, less sugar, more water.I’m pretty sure I’ll feel some improvement in how my body feels with these modifications, which might even help sleep and I know help with energy levels and performance.

A healthy dinner of a Molly's twist on a two bean salad,fresh lettuce from the garden, and herbed couscous

Also, to stop comparing myself to others who do have more time to train, and to get rid of any  (silly) feelings of jealousy

Men. Ahh, that’s a topic I’m not too fond of. Especially with the complications of my last “friendship.” But, you need to be completely at peace with yourself, be able to take care of you, and actually love yourself before you can love another person. And even though I might look like I have my shit together, I really don’t. And as somewhat heartbroken as I am about what happened, I’m not going to go crawl into a ball and weep to sleep (cause, I’ve already done that haha). Whoever coined the term “heartbreak” was dead on–I did feel like my heart was actually cracking in my chest.  But, I’m not going to dwell on the fact it did not work out, even though I was hoping it would. This opens up opportunities that I have for my future. Like travel nursing. I’m young, single, have great work experience under my belt, have no family or mortgage to worry about. It’s the perfect time to go out and try new things while I still can. Travel, and see different places. And, if the travel positions do not work out, well, I go somewhere else. I don’t want to look back at my life and think, “Man, why didn’t I do that?”

That’s one good thing I’ve learned about life: it goes on.

It’s Because She’s Lazy (wink)

The last couple nights at work have been insane. In the three years working as a nurse, I have dealt with numerous horrible situations, seen things which non-medical staff are unable to even comprehend, and with what happened to me, even medical staff were alarmed. unfortunately, I will not get into too much detail because of HIPPA, and the fact in those three nights I saw the most horrific things I have ever seen in real life. Saturday morning after I gave the report to the charge nurse coming in, she asked me, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine….”

“Your tearing up, Moll, it’s not okay.”

“It wasn’t a good night….”

I went home, and in the car found myself weeping from the events at work, the insanity, how I had managed to keep calm in the midst of chaos is beyond me. I think the tears also came as a result of exhaustion, lack of sleep, and the fact that June has basically been a horrible month for me. With sickness, a DNF, a defective and now broken heart, I decided to restart my training and do Timberman in August. It will be tough, but I have a good base behind me. And, a friend joked around that I was too lazy to finish my last HIM, which, I know was a joke, because most of those I know think the amount of physical activity I do is nuts. But with everything which has happened, the comment made me even more determined to finish this triathlon….Ohh, btw, I took the comment seriously.

Yesterday, as a result of the comment, and the fact that there is nothing better to help heal a broken heart than by having an awesome ride, swim, and run, I brought my road bike to lake onteora and rode from the parking lot, then rode up meads road to the parking lot at Overlook mountain where I switched into my trail running shoes and ran up and then down towards Indian Head Mountain. It ended up being a 16mile trail run, one which I needed to digest everything which has happened to me this past month. But in retrospect my legs were not prepared for it.

I have not been on a trail run for months, and miss it so much (kind of hard to do trail running in the dark).

After maybe 5 or 7  miles I came across this area where there were just slabs or slates of rock. It was right near the mountains edge and I never even knew it existed on my other runs along the road to Indian Head Mountain.

Closer to the edge, there were chairs made out of slate and stone that overlooked the hudson valley, and from there I could see how far I had run from the fire tower at the top of the fire tower.

wow, so far away from the fire tower on overlook!

The views closer to the edge, despite being somewhat hazy, were pretty awesome.

looking out over the hudson valley

After finishing the run, and seriously dehydrated, I stopped at Bread Alone to fill up my camelback and water bottle and continue my ride back to the lake.  Once I was at the lake, I was hot and drench in sweat, and exhausted. But the water was calm and cool, and I went for a 45 min swim in the late which was incredibly peaceful. I love lake Onteora! The water was cool, and still, and it was only me in the lake swimming. For the first time I felt internal peace, which I haven’t felt for a long time.

So, to those who even joke around about this girl being lazy, beware, I might take it seriously.

Below is the bike route I did

Lake Onteora to Overlook to Glasco Turnpike and back down to lake onteora

Mmmmm olives. Salty,juicy, yumm

On my way back I stopped at Adam’s Fairacre Farms for food, because I had nothing to eat before I started the ride and run and was 1) so thirsty from dehydration and 2) starving. And, I managed to eat three containers of olives (mmmmm they tasted a-m-a-z-i-n-g), although now the thought of eating any more olives makes me feel nauseous….

And now I leave you with a song that was stuck in my head on my run.

When was the last crazy post written?

May 2023
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