A Rendezvous with Sneakers

When asked, how old you are you answer 18-29

Your idea of a great b-day is to run your age in miles with a couple of friends.

Your idea of a great date is to go for a 10 mile run with your date.

You try to impress girls with your marathon time after swimming 2.4 miles and biking 112 miles.

When asked how long your training was today you answer: three to four hours.

Your traning is more limited by available time then how far you can run.

Your first thought when you wake up is how high your rest HR is.

You go for a run eventhough there’s a thunderstorm and you enjoy being wet and dirty.

You think an Ironman is easier then a Marathon because you don’t have to start by running fast.

You think it’s natural to do your ‘business’ behind a tree in the woods.

Nobody believes you when you say ‘Never again’.

You take part in the corporate challenge to improve your base speed.

You go for a 5 km cooldown run after a 5 km race just so that you can call it a training session.

You consider work, regeneration time between training sessions.

You co-workers don’t ask you if you’re going to train this weekend, but how long and how far.

You have a water bottle when you drive your car.

You spend your 2 weeks annual vacation at a training camp.

During the vacations, when everybody else is partying, you go to sleep at 10:00pm because you’re going for a long ride the next day.

You know inside out how much Protein each energy bar has.

You seriously consider applying for citizenship in Tonga, Jemen or Tschad so that you can participate in the olympic games.

When people praising you for being able to run 15 miles you’re feeling insulted.

In the summer your legs are smoother then your girlfriend’s.

Your kids grab water bottles and energy bars when you suggest a family stroll.

Your wife is not worried if you left for your run2 hours ago.

You need a picture for a job application and you only have race pictures.

You use running T-shirts to clean your bike.

You are up everyday by 5:00 am, but never in work before 9:30 am!

that charming “cologne” you wear to work is chlorine

you take more showers in a locker room than at home

6:30 am is sleeping in

the dog runs and hides when you get the leash!

You think there are only two seasons during the year, racing and off.

you can’t change the oil in your car but you can completly rebuild your bike in 45 mins

you spend more $ on training and racing clothes then work clothes

you spend 7 days going to 8 stores in 4 malls before buying a pair of running shoes but you take 1 afternoon to go to 1 car dealership and walk out with a new car 4 hours later.

when you see some lady watering her flowers and ask her if you can borrow the hose for a minute so you can fill up your water bottles.

You clean your bike more often than your car

Your car smells like a locker room.

You have everything needed in your car to be Swimming, Biking or Running with 5 minutes notice.

When asked to mow the lawn in 90 degree heat, you say that its too hot to do that (and you mean it) and then an hour later you go on a century ride because its so nice out.

you mow your legs more often than your lawn.

You tell your co-workers that you are going to “do a long brick” on saturday and just expect that they know what you are talking about.

When a co-worker asks if you are racing this weekend, you say “yeah, but I’m just running a 10k, so that is not REALLY a race”.

You have more water bottles than glasses in your cupboard

You consider you bike saddle your “couch”

You consider Clif Bars as one of the four food groups

you are sick to your stomach at 2:00 in the morning and check the back of the Pepto Bismol bottle for caloric content and grams ofcarbohydrates, fat and protein.

you have plenty of water bottles, safety pins, and t-shirts.

you have trouble keeping lunch under 2000 calories.

you usually wake up at 4:00 in the morning but do not get to work until way after 9:00.

you have a $4000 bike strapped on top of your $2000 car.

you have no trouble pushing a day’s caloric intake to over 8000 calories.

your area needs rain real bad but you’re mad when it does cause it screws up your run and bike schedule… ,actually, you might be mad, but you still go out for your ride or your run in the rain…
you’re always wet! Either sweat water, pool water, sea water, shower water, bath water or its p*****g down outside!

your bed-time reading on your night stand consists of a pile of: DeSoto catalogs; InsideTri; Triathlete, VeloNews, USMA Swim, etc.

you haven’t bought work clothes in two years, yet you own bike shorts made by every manufacturer under the sun and can recite the merits of CoolMax, Supplex, etc. in your sleep!

your car has at least one Power Bar wrapper and two sets of work out clothes!

you know you could make a killing at Jeopardy if only the categories were: – Past winners of Hawaii Ironman – Legs shaving techniques – 40-30-30 diet – Aerodynamics racing wheels – Gastrointestinal problems and long runs – How to justify a 4000$ bike

your kids idea of playing is a bike and run race followed by clif bars, water bottles and awards ceremony.

your laundry continually smells like someone locked the cat in overnight…

you leave your apartment or house in the morning with your swim bag on one arm, bike on one shoulder, a change of clothes in another bag, and your running stuff in another bag in case you can get away at lunch for a workout.

you look like a pack mule wherever you go.

you wave at other cyclists, because all triathletes are friendly and if they are not, they are probably purist cyclists trying to get intotriathlons and they do not know that triathletes are friendly.

you can’t decide what tee shirt to where to your next race.

you no longer take vacations but weekend triathlon junkets.

you have far more pairs of shoes in your closet than your non-tri wife does in hers

the one “suit” you own has a QR on the chest.

you think about having sex, but you don’t want it to effect your morning run splits. (Or if you do, you wear a heart rate monitor and measure your recovery time afterwards)

your living room has the “swim pile” and the “bike pile” and the “run pile” and the “weight room pile” and you pick and choose kind of like a cafeteria on your way out the door.

your kitchen cupboards are organized into “protein”, “carbs” and “etc”

your breakfast consists of enough bagels that the bagel guy hands you a freezer bag with your order.

you’re tempted to do your long rides in a speedo so that you don’t have a stupid tan for your next race.

your bath towel is never dry.

you bring bottled water to a party so that you’re properly hydrated for the next morning’s long run, everyone else at the party also brought their own bottled water because you don’t have a social life outside of triathlon. Oh yeah, and they all showed up by 7pm and left by 10pm.

your company announces mandatory unpaid shutdown days – every other Friday thoughout the summer – in order to cut costs and stay in business, and your response is “Great – now I can do two long workouts on the weekends and still have an easy day.”

you buy a separate dresser for all your race t-shirts.

your 8 year old comes home with the school record for the mile and says, he took it out in a nice pace he could hold…..everyone else died.

you fill your kids’ water bottles with Cytomax instead of blue gatorade.

you can ask your mom and your sister and all other girlfriends for shaving advice!!!

you say that you went to a race last weekend…and somebody responds “running or biking” and you are again forced to explain….

your co-workers catch you with a ‘King Sized’ meal deal from Burger King, and you can smile and tell them that you will have no problem working this off on the way home.

you started the day with a protein shake, had a scone and latte after swimming and commuting, then head out for coffee with the coworkers and have a a bagel and cream cheese.

you wear your bathing suit under your work clothes to make a fast transition from work to swim on your lunch hour.

you name your two new puppies Kona and Hawi

your RST time is cut short by training.

the dog hides until you’ve showered.

your spouse wants dinner out and a movie, so you agree, but fall asleep during the previews and catch hell.

mowing the lawn really smarts after being aero all morning.

you show up at the neighborhood pool on your bike in a speedo and embarrass your teenage daughters.

you’ve spent more on bikes in the last 10 years than you have on clothes for the past 50!

your hair is never dry.

you were awake for the Northridge quake (4:30 AM) because you were out running … and you showed up for 6 AM Masters swim workout and wondered where everybody was.

somebody hands you a cup of water and you have to restrain yourself from pouring it on your head.

you forget that talking about daily LSD [Long Slow Distance] and speed weirds some people out.

you have no FRIGGIN idea what to do with yourself on your off day. Damnit, I mowed the lawn, cleaned the house, washed the car, and there’s STILL 4 hours of daylight left! Aarrgghh!

you come into the office every morning and check RST before you check your email.

you return from your *Mini-vacation* more exhausted than before you left!

you feel like you took the day off because all you did was swim 3000 yards.

You get done with a hard workout and drink a recovery drink while on the toilet and in the shower.

At any given moment you know exactly where your heart rate monitor and your swim googles are, but cannot remember where you left you car keys. (turns 90% of the time they are in your bike bag

When non-racer friends tell you they ran/rode you automatically calculate their pace to see if you’re still in better shape.

Cars pass you on the road when you’re driving and you either drop back to get out of draft zone or speed up to attack!